Written by Mike White, Directed by Danny Leiner

Also starring Busy Philipps as Kim Kelly

Guest starring Tom Wilson as Coach Fredericks

Co-starring Natasha Melnick as Cindy Sanders, Jarrett Lennon as Colin, Riley Smith as Todd Schellinger, Joanna Garcia as Vicki, Shia LaBeouf as Herbert, Samantha Shelton as Heidi Henderson, David Doty as Councilman Ritchie, Amy Wheaton as pretty girl, Matt Czuchry as teenage guy #1, Daniel Chacon as teenage guy #2

"Being the school mascot has always been my dream." -Neal
"Yeah, since lunch." -Bill
"C'mon, Neal." -Sam
"I don't know." -Neal
"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." -Sam
"You had to quote the 'Star Wars,' didn't you." -Neal

"Man, I love the smell of gasoline." -Daniel

"Dad, I think Cindy Sanders likes me." -Sam
"Oh yeah?" -Harold
"Yeah. I got to from a human pyramid on top of her." -Sam
"Well, that'll do it." -Harold

"Tell my mother that I love her." -Daniel preparing to fight

"Mom, did you break up with my boyfriend?" -Lindsay

"Oh God, I'm a bleeder!" -Neal