Synopsis of Tests and Breasts
Written by TK
Daniel knows he's going to fail tomorrow's math test, so when Lindsay offers to show him some math tricks, he takes her up on her offer. She meant that she would help him study, whereas he was really looking for tricks. So the next morning he steals a copy of the test. He tries to get Lindsay to help him figure out the answers ahead of time, but instead she tries going to Daniel's math teacher and explaining that she's tutoring Daniel but he needs a little more study time, and asks if he could have an extension. The math teacher scoffs at the idea of giving a terrible student like Daniel any leeway, and tells Lindsay not to let her hormones drag her down with that loser. This pisses Lindsay off, so she agrees to help Daniel. Daniel, of course, aces the test, and the math teacher is immediately suspicious of Lindsay and tells her so. Lindsay freaks out. Daniel tells her to just deny, deny, deny. The teacher calls Lindsay's parents, who get very upset with Lindsay even though Lindsay denies the accusations. Just before the discliplinary meeting, Kim tells Lindsay that Daniel does this all the time, and disabuses Lindsay of the idea that this was a one-time event, and in the future Daniel will study hard and this will never happen again. Lindsay decides to tell the truth, but Daniel pulls a sob story about being told he was dumb when he was eleven years old, and convinces Lindsay to keep lying. At the meeting, Lindsay's parents are now behind her, and Mr. Rosso, the guidance counselor, is ready to the let the whole thing go, but now the math teacher is pissed, so he tells Daniel that if he can complete, right now in this office, the first problem on the test, the teacher will not only apologize, he'll resign his teaching position. Of course, Daniel is not able to do so, and he and Lindsay are busted. Daniel pulls the same sob story he pulled on Lindsay shortly before. It seems like he might be getting some sympathy from the adults in the room, until Lindsay can't stand it anymore and bursts into crazy uncontrollable laughter.
Sam, Neal and Bill are in sex ed class in school. Neal and Bill keep talking, and Sam keeps telling them to shut up, and of course Sam gets in trouble for talking in class. The teacher makes him get up and teach the class, asking Sam to point out various parts of the female anatomy... which he can't find on the chart. The whole class makes fun of Sam's lack of knowledge. That night at home, Sam is studying an anatomy book. Daniel is there to study with Lindsay, and sees Sam's frustration. Daniel tells Sam that he'll find him in school the next day and hook him up. Sam is left wondering exactly what that means. The next day in school, Daniel hands Sam a brown paper bag. Sam, with Neal and Bill, check out the contents in the boys' room and realize that it's a pornographic movie. Sam is really hesitant about it, but Neal is gung-ho, and invites his friends over to his house that afternoon because he has a movie projector. The three friends watch the movie with growing horror. Sam is unable to eat dinner that night. The next day at lunch the three friends are unable to have a normal conversation at lunch, and are having a hard time eating anything. In sex ed class that day, they get to write anonymous questions for the teacher to answer. The teacher asks Sam to stay after class, and tells him that he knows which questions were Sam's because of Sam's unique Star Trek notepaper, and he was a little concerned about some of his questions. He asks Sam where he learned about this stuff, and Sam tells him that he saw a movie. The teacher decides to sit Sam down and give him the full story of sex. Sam is extremely relieved by the end of the talk, and is finally able to talk to Cindy again without being rude or a bumbling idiot.
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